A Letter to the Modern Woman Choosing to be “Childfree”
Telling you things about Motherhood the Algorithm will never show you
It is no secret that child-bearing and child-rearing are not easy tasks to undertake and yet it seems only recently that it has become a popular idea to forego childbearing completely in order to evade these costs. But there is little consideration given to what the existence of this “decision” at all says about the modern person’s relationship to their soul, to eternity and to civilisation--for people of all previous generations, having children was not a decision but rather an inevitability of the natural development of life from which only very strange people were exempt.
We begin to understand the importance of philosophy in the common person’s life when masses of people are incepted with bad ideas that they are not at all philosophically equipped to critique. The modern world is a narcissistic one not because the average person living in it is inherently a narcissist, but rather because the main philosophical ideas used by the average person to inform their values, morals and big life decisions are narcissistic in their very nature. Where the primary moral supra-structure of thirteenth century Italy may have been to honour God or one’s family, the moral supra-structure of twenty first century seems to be to optimize one’s life foremost for one’s own enjoyment and pleasure. To present the idea of sacrifice in this context will undoubtedly sound ludicrous and the concept of childbearing will only be tolerable in so far as it provides some personal pleasure benefit to the parents.
The ideas of an average, ordinary woman are a reflection not of her own natural desires and temperament, but rather are a reflection of the society she lives in. We are porous beings, and the more ordinary you are the more porous your personal philosophy. When the average, ordinary, beautiful woman is averse to having children, it reveals a great sickness in the society she lives in that gave her these ideas and encouraged them to grow.
In this essay I will analyse a post I recently found from one such a woman on instagram which I have transcribed below. If you search for them, there are a million more like these posts and this is why these ideas cannot be ignored.
These kind of posts not only reflect the bad ideas of society, but are like an infecting viral particle that helps the disease to promulgate into more minds. It is for this reason that posts like this must be engaged with seriously.
Whether you strongly agree with the post, or strongly disagree with it, there is something I believe you can learn from my analysis of it, which may bring to light why ordinary women are choosing to be childfree. If you agree with this philosophy of being “childfree” as a fine decision someone can make, then reading my analysis may help you consider whether you truly are making good decisions, not merely for your lifestyle, but for your heart and soul.
How many of your ideas have you absorbed without thinking about them? Is it really “your truth” that you’re living or a lie that’s been fed to you by society?
And if you are a man or woman reading this and vehemently disagree with the “childfree women”, it is valuable for you to read my analysis too because alienating this group of women with anger and consternation is counterproductive to the flourishing of society and the human race. We want normal, healthy, beautiful women to want babies, after all. If you ignore what they’re feeling, you won’t be in any place to change the fact that they’re all running away from that noble vocation. All changes of heart must begin with empathy and curiosity. I invite you to take a few minutes to be curious today, and perhaps send this essay to a woman in your life who is seriously considering being “childfree”.
Here is the post written by the artist named @ellabaudinet on Sunday, January 4 2026 on Instagram:
“In 2025, I chose art over motherhood. Sharing this because you can’t take the artist out of the art. My art is a reflection of my own journey in life. My choices, my relationships, love, growth. Everything. In 2023 I met the most incredible man who went onto be my partner, and a big reason why I moved to London from Australia in the first place.
We had a wonderful and loving relationship, and when we met we were both in alignment with long term goals. As time went on and my art gained more exposure and momentum, so were the increasing conversations about becoming parents.
Truthfully, I couldn’t imagine adding children to my life at this point. I spoke to mothers. The artist mothers. I read the experiences of other women. I got onto the algorithms that showed me the full scope of what I’d be in for. I witnessed friends and family become parents. Every story is different, but the one constant seemed to be this: it’s hard, exhausting, self-sacrificing and demanding work- in ways you never could have imagined.
The thought filled me with dread instead of joy. And I’ve taken enough huge risky leaps to feel the difference between healthy fear of expansion vs a path that may not be right. I’m nowhere near ready to be any less available to my craft, and I don’t know if I ever will be. I’ve heard many people say that parenting has given them a sense of purpose and fulfilment in life. But I’m already doing exactly that. Art is my soul contract in this lifetime. It gives me immense pleasure and fulfilment. Something that I’ve always loved in a way that feels indescribable- like this ecstatic potential that’s bursting to come through my skin. It’s my joy, my true love, my true purpose.
Being a woman comes with many complexities and societal expectations. Add onto that a creative career that can be a challenging long game, one that takes years of dedication and hard work to be recognised in. I’m so proud of everything I’ve created and achieved, each goal reached only getting me more excited about the future of art. I’ve made a hell of a lot of sacrifices to get to this point, and every choice has been made from a place that was my own truth. For me, it’s always been worth it. Because when you are in alignment with your intuition, and take action on wherever it leads you, you will find yourself in the most fulfilling and rewarding place in life.
I love my slow mornings. I love spaciousness, freedom and independence to move or make snap decisions. It’s where I get a lot of my inspiration - in moments of meditation and stillness. In moments of peace and spontaneity.
Do I think it’s possible to thrive as a career driven mother? Of course it is, especially when those choices are made with authenticity and good intentions. Do I think it’s for everyone? No. It’s important to use your discernment and trust your own intuition, rather than give into society’s pressure or what you think you should do if it’s not in alignment with your gut instincts. This decision cost me my relationship, yet I know that it’s just another thread in the tapestry and that the universe has so much more planned.
You don’t have to settle. You’re not less of a woman if you don’t have kids. You’re not selfish, as modern society can lead us to believe. You’re just living your own truth. And if you’re already fulfilled by something you live, I’m talking brimming with love and passion for something positive that you’re contributing to society, then chances are you are making waves of positive impact in the world as it is. That should be honoured.
I may turn around in a few years and feel a different calling, but for now this is my truth. And if it resonates with even one other woman out there, then this post has served its purpose.Live the life that is most authentic to you, no matter what that looks like. This is your life, your choices, not others.Live it well and choose everything by following your intuition. Do this and you will live a fulfilling and wholesome existence.”
(There is more to the post, that I have left out because it was just more repetition.)
